A Productive Nap Time

There are lots of reasons I'm glad Jonah's better. Naturally, the most important is that I love him and want him to be well. But another bonus is that now he's sleeping again, which means that during afternoon nap, I was a blaze of productivity. And if you know me, you know how I love to be productive! 

We Have Turned the Corner!

Two weeks and one day from when Jonah first got sick, I feel that we have finally turned the corner! Praise God!!

He slept last night from 7:30pm until 5:30am, something that hasn't happened since he got sick, and even at 5 I was able to nurse him back to sleep. And then this morning he napped from 10am until 1; when I went into his room, he was sitting up in his bed, happy, bouncing and smiling up at me. I am so glad to have my Jonah man back!

I can tell he's back because after his nap and a good nursing, he played in his room with nothing but one of those nose suction things while I folded the clothes in the other room. He hasn't played by himself in weeks, never letting me out of his sight and almost always wanting to be held. Welcome back, buddy!

Ian and I both have a new compassion for parents with a fussy baby. Yikes! We knew (or at least hoped) ours was temporary, but even still it's been a tough few weeks. You rotate between feeling sorry for the baby and sorry for yourself. I am sad to admit there were times in the past two weeks when I just wanted to yell at Jonah, "Get a grip!" Thankfully, I didn't actually do it, but trust me, we are renewed in our motivation to space out the next baby a little more. =) 

Still, so thankful he is well and so thankful we've turned the corner. Fingers crossed he still takes an afternoon nap!

Marriage Musings

This month, Ian and I are celebrating our 5th anniversary. I say "this month" because we've spaced out our celebrations. On our actual anniversary, the 10th, we went to a lovely dinner at a fancy restaurant called Delius. I love fancy restaurants, as I don't need to remind you if you remember this old post. It was a lovely night. And tomorrow, we leave for two nights away in Julian, a little mountain/apple town south-east of us. Ruthie will be having sleepovers at Grandma and Grandpa's and Aunt Mary and Uncle Mike's. She'll be in heaven. We'll be taking our Jonah-man with us (which we're thankful for, after his ordeal earlier this week) and are looking forward to making a fire both nights, looking at stars, doing some wine tasting and just enjoying being together. It should be wonderful!

But I can't help but feel a little reflective, as we celebrate our 5th, not just about our marriage but about marriage in general. I don't know if others would agree, but I feel like marriage is on trial. Our culture is deciding whether marriage is still relevant, whether it's necessary, whether marriage "worth it." There are so many people giving up on marriage, declaring by their actions that it's not worthy of our best efforts to keep the vows we made, whether we made them three years ago or thirty. We were having dinner with some friends whose parents had divorced after 33 years of marriage, and we know another couple who didn't make it much past their one year anniversary. Marriage is under attack from all sides, at every stage, in every place. It saddens me, because I love my marriage. It's a safe, wonderful, companionable place to be. 

Obviously, I realize not everyone's marriage is in that place, and it's not always their fault, so please don't hear that. I know many people who have tried hard and still struggle. If that's you, know that I pray for you and love you. 

But this is my blog, so forgive me if I get on my soapbox for a moment. =) 

I wish and pray everyone could be happy in their marriages, but I've also come to a conclusion. I'm not to going to hide my joy just because other people don't share it. I used to feel guilty for the ease in our marriage and even down play our happiness when talking to others, especially those who were struggling. And naturally, it's right to be sensitive and caring. But I've also got to be truthful; I love my husband and I love being married to him. I enjoy being with him and look forward to him coming home from work each day as much now as I did when we were newly married. There's nothing I wouldn't do to help my marriage be healthy and successful. 

I am well aware that I am aided in my marriage by the fact that my husband is a naturally selfless person, SO MUCH MORE so than I am. It seems easy for him to put my needs above his own, and truthfully, sometimes I let him do so too often. But I know that I'm also committed to giving him what he needs - affirmation, space to be himself, grace for when he slips up and daily encouragement of the fact that I love him and am so thankful for him. 

The second we begin to put our own marriage on trial is the moment that doubt and criticism get a foothold and those are dangerous bedfellows, especially in a marriage. We said for better or for worse - that pretty much sums up every circumstance in life. I'll readily admit that most of my marriage has been spent in the "for better" category but I trust that these moments and the muscles of commitment we flex in them are building Ian and me up for the "for worse." We made a promise, to God, to each other and to our friends and families, and we've kept that promise for 5 years. Lord willing, we've got 60+ years more to go.

If you're reading this, Babe, I love you! Happy Anniversary!  

A Stay at the Hospital

Last Thursday, Jonah woke up with a fever. He was pretty warm, but since some of his cousins had been sick with a fever, I didn't think too much about it since I'd almost been expecting it. We gave him some medicine, which brought the fever down and perked him up. 

The next day, he had fever again, but not as high, so we just gave him medicine as needed. By Saturday though, he was still hot and pretty fussy and just not himself. Then on Sunday morning, he had a rash on his stomach. We weren't overly concerned (well, I wasn't; his father is pretty anxious by nature, so he was a little worked up), because we were pretty sure by now he had Rosiola, and the rash is the last stage. But we kept him with us on Sunday (instead of putting him in the nursery) and had a low key day at home after church. On and off, he was himself, but on the whole, we could tell he was still sick. 

The on Monday morning his rash was worse and he was very lethargic and not his cheerful self at all. Even I was concered at this point, so we made an appointment to see the doctor that morning. Once there, she felt like his color was not good and that his lethargy was alarming. He also threw up pretty violently while in the doctor's office. She asked me where my husband worked, if it was close. By this time, I'm getting pretty worried. The doctor said I should take Jonah straight to the ER and have my husband meet me there. 

You better believe I threw Ruthie and Jonah back in the car and raced to Memorial, in tears. Our Jonah man! Ian was able to meet me there (thank goodness for a bike, a job close to the hospital and an understanding principal) and Sarah also met us there to take Ruthie home to her house. Poor baby, I don't think I said two words to her except for "We have to be brave now" from the time we left the doctor's office to the when Sarah collected her. Thank goodness she won't remember that. 

The ER staff expedited looking at Jonah and getting us into a room. Once in the room, the ER doctor was also concerned about his coloring and his lethargy, so he decided to admit us and begin testing. During all this, Ian and I were pretty upset, especially seeing all the tests they did to Jonah. I will never be able to forget his little hands strapped down above his head while they did a chest X-ray, or my husband's tears as he held down Jonah's legs while they filled vile after vile of his blood. It was awful. AWFUL. And it was terrifying some of the things the doctor was testing for, like bacterial meningitis, which is not treatable. What!?! How do you even begin to process that news? 

It was very painful waiting and wondering. We were just praying and holding Jonah, while he slept on our laps. Mary brought us lunch and we felt very prayed for and taken care of. Fortunately, the tests began coming back in pretty quickly, with everything negative. However, the doctor still wanted to admit Jonah, based on his appearance. So they started an IV of fluids and anti-biotics and moved us to a room on the pediatric wing. 

I am telling you, I do not know how parents of terminally/chronically ill children do it. Life in the hospital is so hard and watching your child suffer is heart breaking. Fortunately, within a few hours Jonah began to improve. One of the nurses even coaxed a smile out of him. In the middle of the night we began to see his rash get better and his fever go away. Hallelujah! 

We still had little hope of leaving the next day, as they had told us they wanted to watch him for 48 hours. By now, my parents were taking care of Ruthie at our house, so we knew she was fine. But once we saw our little man start to be himself again we were super anxious to get him home. The IV on his arm was the size of a child's baseball mitt, with a board tapped to his arm to keep it straight and a bunch of gauze around that. And in spite of being so tired, it was hard for him to sleep with all the hospital interruptions. We asked in the morning if we could possibly go home that day but they told us no.

But then, inexplicably, the doctor came back in a few hours and said we could take him home, if we agreed to take him to the doctor the next day. Hooray! We were so excited. We had to wait a few more hours, to pass the 24 hour mark of all his tests (they were seeing what kind of cultures were growing). Everything continued to be negative for a bacteria, meaning he just had a really bad viral infection. 

Here he is, playing on the mat we asked for (no way were we letting him down on the hospital floor and he's just too active to be in a bed all the time!). And the other one is of him in the bed. You can see the IV on his right hand (not connected in the one where he's on the mat, obviously). We had to cut his jammies to get them on. Obviously, in these he's starting to feel more himself. I don't have any pictures from when he was really sick because, clearly, my mind was on other things. 

So, they let us go home and we were greeted with stew in the crock pot from my mom and a daughter who laughed with joy when she saw her brother. Today I took Jonah back to the doctor, as promised, and he received rave reviews from his pediatrician. It's truly amazing how rapidly they recover. 

Whew! What a roller coaster of a few days. I am so thankful to be home, SO thankful Jonah is on the mend and also so grateful for a family who steps in at a moment's notice to help us. We are so loved and supported. 

(Please forgive any typos - I don't have the emotional energy to re-read this post.)

A Disneyland Family

I know some of our friends don't understand our love of Disneyland. I'm pretty sure some have even made fun of us. But we don't care. We see the magic. We feel the wonder. And I love that we're a Disneyland family.

We just recently renewed our passes, so my mind is filled afresh with our love of Disneyland. That, and I went there three times this week. =) It was the first week we could go after being blocked out for Christmas so Ian and I planned a trip for Thursday after work, inviting our friends Amy and Hans (and their son Klaus) to go with us. But before that, Mary emailed and asked if me and Mom wanted to go on Wednesday. Naturally, we did. My dad is on break from seminary still so he joined us and we all had such a good time. As always, we stayed a little too long and both kids feel asleep in the car. Usually, on the way home from the Magic Kingdom, I give Ruthie a map for her to look at. It keeps her alert and entertained until we can get home for naps. But this time she feel asleep looking at the map, with both hands holding either side of the map. I couldn't take a picture until we got home and she had woken up but it was so cute. How could I not love Disneyland, when my little girl is so enamored with it? She asks everyday to wear her Minnie Mouse shirt. Good thing we have two of those and one Cinderella shirt to help us get through to laundry day!

Having gone on Wednesday did not diminish our excitement to go with Ian on Thursday, so we cheerfully loaded up after he got home from work and met our friends there for a very fun night-time visit. This brings me to the third visit - Ian lost his phone while we were there that night. We discovered this in the parking lot, way too late to go back. He was pretty sure it had slipped out of his pocket while riding Small World. Our suspicions were confirmed when we got a call from the workers at Small World later that night saying it was there. We told them we were already gone and to please take it to Lost and Found.

So the next morning, I prepared to go to Lost and Found and pick it up. This was not our first time to visit the Lost and Found and in the past it's been a long line and sort of an ordeal, so I wanted to make it as fun as possible. I invited my parents to come walk around Downtown Disney with me, if they felt like having an outing. They did, and they decided to renew their passes at the same time. They actually beat me there and even picked up Ian's phone for me, and since we were there and it was a beautiful day we decided to go on in the park. We went on the carousel and then to the Jolly Holiday for lunch. Oh, and my dad bought Ruthie a churro. She first walked up to me and said, "I want a churro (which kind of sounds like Cheerio)." I told her no, we are about to have lunch. And Dad told her, "You're asking the wrong person." So she walked over to Grandpa and asked him and they walked hand in hand to the closet churro cart. It was super cute and a lovely visit.

I understand that Disneyland isn't for everyone - people are different and I get that. But I am thankful my immediate and extended family loves it, because we're building some really happy memories around it. And my kids are learning to be patient and wait in lines. Not to mention they get great exercise as they run around the whole park (well, Ruthie runs around. Jonah swivels his head from side to side in the baby carrier, trying to see as much as he can). I love watching them experience new things and learn to be brave, as they try out rides and explore lands.

So thank you, Walt Disney, for dreaming big and bringing that dream to life. And thank you, Mom and Dad, whose Christmas checks each year allow us to buy passes!