Ruthie's Birth Story

Let me caution you right now. This is a LONG post. It is not for the faint of heart, so if you don't have the time/interest in reading it all, my feelings are not hurt (nor will I even know about it - one of the pitfalls and advantages of the internet). I wrote this over the course of several days, when I had such an overwhelming desire to capture everything I was feeling and thinking. So feel free to skim, skip or read in portions. Or not at all. But in case you want all the details, and I do mean all, then read on.

Ruth Nellie McCurry is here. It only took one year of trying, 9 months of pregnancy, 11 days of being overdue and 35 hours of labor. But she was worth every minute.

Just after midnight, at 12:22AM on Sunday, December 18th, I had a semi-large contraction and my water broke. I pulled the sheets back and called out to Ian to turn on the light. Since I was afraid of moving and making a mess, I asked him to check and see if my water had broken. He looked (very dubiously) and declared there was nothing to be seen. I was sure something had happened, so I stood up, and sure enough, the water works began. How excited we were! After 11 days of being post due, we were thrilled to have started labor. And with no inducement! I was very excited.

Because of the GroupB Strep I was a carrier for with this pregnancy, we were instructed to come to the hospital as soon as my water broke. We started gathering our things. Ian went to the kitchen to grab my Gatorade and the cookies I had made for the nurses. While he was in there, he noticed a rushing water sound. He went outside and found that our water heater was spraying a steady stream of hot water all over our back patio. Seems that me and the water heater where on a similar timeline. Knowing we needed to get on our way to the hospital, we just turned the water off and figured we would deal with it later.

So at 12:45AM, after a quick post on my blog, we loaded our overnight bags in the car, and headed off to Memorial Hospital, a mere five minutes away. Since my contractions were only coming about every 20 minutes and were very light, we parked together and walked to the main entrance together. We were greeted by the night guard with a “Baby day today, huh?” and directed toward the labor and delivery check in. On the second floor, we checked and were told to be seated, someone would be with us shortly. (Would they still do that if I was screaming in pain? I think the front desk lady doubted we were in labor.) After about 7 or so minutes (6 minutes too long for Ian), a nurse came to get us and took us to triage, where they test to make sure you’re really in labor. They hooked up an external fetal monitor and took a sample of my fluids, to see if my water really had broken. At that time, the nurse told us that Dr. Runic, the doctor from our group practice who was on call, wanted to start Pitocin to get labor going. Shocked that we were already being offered intervention and drugs (we had our birth plan, you see), we politely declined and said we would like to have nature take its course.

After that, they let us know they would be admitting us and would ready a room. About one and half hours later (again, I sincerely hope it wouldn’t take that long to get a room ready if I was experiencing intense contractions) we were taken to our labor and delivery room. Little did we know how long we would be in that room. But Karen, a very cheerful night nurse, acclimated us to the room and showed us how everything worked. The room was great and we were so thankful to be out of the triage bed.

Since everything was moving so slowly, we decided not to call the rest of the members of our birth team. We thought it best to let Mom and Mary sleep through the night. So from about 2:30AM until 6AM, Ian and I quietly labored on our own. We mostly did laps around the hospital floor, up and down every hall way. My contractions came about every 8 to 10 minutes and lasted about a minute long, and peaked at about a five on the scale. They were pretty minor and very manageable. Since I was so comfortable, I had the sneaking suspicion these contractions weren’t really doing anything too much, but we were patient and happy.

Around 7AM, we called Mom and told her we were at the hospital, but that things were moving very slowly. She was very excited to hear the news, but since there was no emergency, decided to shower before getting on her way. We gave her Ian’s breakfast order and then continued on in our room. At about 7:30, Dr. Runic came in for a visit. She asked if she could check me for dilatation and after a quick inspection, said I was at a 1. We weren’t too discouraged, considering I had been a .5 the last time I was checked at the doctor’s office a few weeks prior. She looked at our chart and saw that the contractions were still coming, so she didn’t try to push the Pitocin. She did say I could have breakfast, since, as she said, “I’ll be frank with you – this is going to be a long day.” I was very glad to hear about the breakfast and not too worried about the long day, since we had prepared ourselves for that.

Mom arrived with breakfast and a smiling face a little bit after that and we all ate (I had hospital food and then later a bagel from the cafeteria) in our room. Everyone was relaxed and happy.
At around 8:45AM or so, we decided to call Mary. I told her our news but encouraged her to go on to church, since everything was happening so slowly. She decided to come to the hospital first to say hello and then went on her way to church. Mom ran back to our house quickly to get a few things we wanted, like the exercise ball and Scrabble. By this time, a very nice nurse named Su was taking care of us. As it neared lunchtime, I was hungry again and asked if I was cleared to eat lunch. She updated Dr. Runic of my status, who agreed that I was still far enough away from actually delivering that I could have lunch. So on her way back, Mom brought Ian In and Out and I ate from the hospital. There was still no real pick up in my contractions, but we were patient and content.

After church, Sarah came over and the three ladies chatted and chatted, while Ian enjoyed a little break from conversation. Around 4PM, Su came in and said that Dr. Runic had been in touch and that if things didn’t pick up, by 6PM she would like to start the Pitocin. At this point, Ian and I both felt like that wouldn’t be too terrible of a thing, since we were beginning to see that no progress was being made. Mom and Mary both talked to us about starting the Pitocin a little earlier, since it sort of seemed inevitable. Their reasoning was that we were going to have to do it anyway, why not get a two hour jump on it and have the baby that much sooner. We talked it over and decided to go ahead with it. At 4:45PM, after a little over 16 hours of labor, we started the Pitocin. While we waited for it to really get going, Mom, Sarah, Mary and I played a game of Scrabble – Mary won. By the end of the Scrabble game, I was starting to really feel those contractions. I got up for yet another walk around the hospital wing and right before I left, a contraction hit that actually brought me to tears. It was a little scary and a little overwhelming. I remember whispering to Ian, “That one really hurt.” My mom saw my tears and that time, she followed us around the floor on our little walk. I was so blessed to have Mom in the room with me – but I can now imagine how hard it must have been for her to see me in so much pain. But she says it is always better to be with the child in pain than away, wondering how they are doing.

By the time we got back from the walk, I was experiencing pretty heavy contractions. Pretty soon, they were full force and I was not interested in walking around or Scrabble anymore. Ian and I did the relaxation breathing and positions we learned about in our Bradley book and I practiced the low groaning and breathing that David and Gina recommended. Sarah and Mary would take turns pushing on my back, where a lot of the pain was, Mom would help me count out my breathing and Ian would hold my hand and keep his face very close to mine. How anyone labors alone I will never know. It truly took a team to keep me going.

While we’re on that subject, I have to say that Ian was truly amazing. He was so diligent and focused for the whole 35 hours. I was so loved by his constant and gentle attention. What a man!
So we labored on like this, with pretty heavy and very frequent contractions, until about 10:30PM, 22 hours since starting labor. At that point, Danielle (the night shift nurse who was truly amazing) asked if she could check my dilation for progress. We agreed and waited with anticipation for what our 22 hours would have accomplished.

And I will never forget Danielle’s words. As gently and graciously as possible, she delivered crushing news. She said, “There’s been no change.” I will always be grateful she didn’t say, “You’re still a 1,” which was true and what she could have said. But she tried to let me down easy. However, when I heard those words, I burst into tears. I think everyone in the room did – even Danielle told us later she was sure I was further along than that.

I almost don’t have words to describe how hearing that report felt. It was if my heart was breaking. I was so crushed and defeated. How could I be no further along, after all this pain and all this time and all those contractions? As Ian held my hand, I cried and cried. Pretty soon after that, Mom came over and very firmly began talking about getting an epidural. She said I would end up in a C section if I tried to go on like that. As we were approaching our second night of labor, meaning our second night with no sleep, she felt sure I would not have the endurance when the pushing finally came. Mary also came over to my bedside and told me how both she and Sarah progressed faster once they were on the epidural, because they were able to relax. She said that in looking at my chart, she could see that I wasn’t relaxing in between each contraction, as my valleys were never getting all the way back down to flat.

Of course, I wanted to know what Ian thought. This was against our “birth plan,” with our hopes for an unmedicated labor. The book tells you that just when you feel like you can’t make it, that’s when you’re really close. But those liars weren’t a 1 after 22 hours of labor. Ian agreed, as gently as he could, that the epidural would be best. It would allow us to sleep that night and be ready for a baby the next day.

So, I agreed to the epidural. And man, oh man, as soon as we decided I was getting it, I could not wait for that man to arrive and get it started. I didn’t want to feel one more contraction. Thankfully, he came fairly quickly and got it started. Literally within 5 minutes of getting it, I couldn’t feel a single contraction. It was HEAVEN. Part of my not wanting to get an epidural was my (mistaken) belief that it would make me completely dead from the waist down, that my legs would be like cement logs and that I wouldn’t feel anything. Well, I don’t know if my anesthesiologist was some incredible genius (pretty sure he was) but I could feel my legs, move them around, push myself up, wiggle my toes – all that, but no pain. INCREDIBLE. And as soon as all that was done with, Mom, Sarah and Mary all left. Ian pulled the sleeper bed next to my hospital bed and we both went to sleep. I slept for three glorious hours, until Danielle came to check me again. And this time, I was a 3. Not amazing, but PROGRESS. And such good news for me and Ian. We both went back to sleep for a little bit, but people were always coming in and out, so it was hard to get too much. Still, it was something and we were thankful.

At around 6AM, we were both alert and ready to focus again on the labor. Around that time, Danielle was a bit worried about the baby’s heartbeat, as it kept falling off. At that time, she also had a delivery in the room next door. (Did I already mention that two people came and went in that room next door before we had our Ruthie? I wish they had put me in magic room #10 instead of 11.) That being said, another nurse came in, who we didn’t know. We trusted Danielle and liked her so much that it was stressful for me to have this brand new nurse there right when things were looking serious. I had Ian get on the phone and call Mom, to see if she could come and be assuring. He only left a message (she had forgotten her phone and was actually already on the way) but, thankfully, the scare passed and Ruthie settled down. Sadly though, the shift changed, yet again, and now we were back with another new nurse.

This nurse was actually training a new nurse, so we had two – Jenny and Natalie. Natalie was amazing – so calm, so assuring. Jenny was…much better after we talked to Natalie. So around 8AM, Natalie checked me again and promptly announced I was an 8, and 90% effaced. An 8! It felt like I had won a gold medal. Way to go body! Getting all the way to an 8 while I wasn’t even feeling it. Amazing. Also around this time, my contractions began to come back, mostly in my back and pretty substantially. Mary was also back in the room by now and she recommended calling the anesthesiologist back to give another small dose. She said she had experienced that in her labor with Sam and it was best to just try to get it fixed before it got worse. Already convinced of the merits of the epidural, I was more than willing to have that magic man return and help a sister out. He gave me a small dose, to help with the back pain, and at 10:30 or so, they checked me again. This time, I was fully dilated and completely effaced. Natalie said I should wait until I felt the urge to push, because it would make everything easier. I can’t say that I exactly had the urge to push, but I was mentally very ready for it. I was ready to see that baby and be done with labor. So at 10:45AM, we started pushing.

The pushing was amazing. I loved it. For the first time, I felt in control of my labor. Because the epidural dosage had been small, I was actually able to feel each contraction and everything I was doing. With each push, I could feel her come a little further down. Mary and Ian held my legs and I would take a deep breath, then push three times, each time for about 8 seconds. And everyone would give great encouragement – Mom, Ian, Mary, Natalie and Jenny. They were all amazing at affirming each push and I was feeling great.

Pretty soon, they said they could see the head. Natalie invited Ian down to come see more of the action and to my surprise, he did. And he was truly amazed at what he was seeing. Natalie, a mom herself of two boys, encouraged me to reach my hand down and feel the top of the baby’s head, which I did. It was incredible. After about 25 or 30 minutes of that, Natalie thought we were far enough along to call the doctor in to check me. When the doctor came in to inspect if I was far enough along in my pushing, we all waited with baited breath, especially the nurses (they didn’t want to have cried wolf). After one or two big pushes, the doctor announced it was time for the stirrups and we all cheered silently that we had “passed.” Because Ruthie was 11 days late, she had already pooped in me and they were worried about her breathing in the meconium. So they assembled the NICU team, a group of specialized baby doctors and nurses who would be there in the room and work on her right after birth, in order to make sure she was okay.

By this time, there were 11 people in the delivery room, waiting to witness our miracle. Ian was getting very excited about finding out what we were having; I was getting very excited to be done. I remember now that when I was pregnant, I thought I would be so excited during the pursing, knowing we were just minutes away from finding out if it was a son or a daughter. But in the moment, all I could think was that soon it would all be over.

When the doctor was all set up and ready, he explained a few things (such as the ring of fire) and how I was to push to get her head out and then not push after that, so she didn’t come out too fast. Well, easier said than done on that front. But he was ready. It is a funny thing, because I didn’t know with the next push that she was coming out, but our bodies are amazing.
By this time, Mom and Mary had both positioned themselves at the foot of the bed, so they could really see when the baby came. Everyone was so excited and with one final push, she was there. The doctor caught her, but it was Ian who leaned over to me and through his tears whispered, “It’s a girl.” He was crying, Mom and Mary were crying and our little baby was crying. As the team took her and began to work on her, I kept calling out to her, “It’s okay, baby girl, Mommy loves you, sweet girl.” Over and over, I called out to her as she cried. Then Ian asked if it was okay for him to tell Mom and Mary her name. We had previously agreed that he would tell everyone at the same time – Dad and Sarah were in the waiting room, and Peter and Sheila were close to arriving. But in the moment, he wanted to tell Mom since her name was an honor to the woman who had just labored with us. So again, through his tears, he told Mom that her name was Ruth Nellie. I was able to tell that we named her Ruth because God had compassion on us and gave her to us, and of course, the Nellie part was self explanatory.

Once her name was public, I used it to call out to her, calling her Ruthie and telling her that Mommy was there. Finally (really, it was probably only 7 or 8 minutes), the doctor was done working on me and they NICU team reported that Ruthie was just fine, perfectly healthy. So they brought her over to me. I will never forget the feeling as they laid her on my chest. I was so excited to see what she looked like. And oh, was so beautiful. In that first moment, she looked very much like Ian to me and I was smitten from the first look. Soon, I moved her near my breast and she latched on for just a few short minutes.

It was a perfect moment, that time and space where I first met my daughter. I loved her in the womb, certainly, but I fell in love with her on the delivery table, in that room with so many strangers and three of the people in the world that know me best and love me most. It was incredible. My heart was almost bursting with affection for this little one who is now a permanent part of my life. She is imprinted on my soul and I am so grateful to our God, our compassionate God, for entrusting me and Ian with such a gift.