The Secret Is Out

I'm not a good driver. I think for several years, I tried to say that I was - that I was "efficient" and "effective." But the truth is, I drive too fast, follow people too close, am impatient and often distracted, and not just by my children. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I text while I drive. I know! It's illegal and dangerous and not worth it. But for some reason, I still do it. You'd think I'd learn, especially given...

That I rear ended someone a few weekends ago when I was checking emails on my phone. I was out running errands (alone! on a Saturday! so lovely!) and was sitting at a stop light. Being the multi-tasker that I am, I was using those few minutes to check my emails. When the light turned green, I stepped on the accelerator (with gusto, as I always do - I'm nothing if not consistent) and it turned out that it wasn't actually my light that had turned. So naturally, the car in front of me wasn't moving. I tried to slam on the breaks, but unfortunately, I hit her back bumper. Not too hard, but obviously this is one of those cases where that doesn't count. People kind of care every time you hit them, funnily enough.

So I did what only seemed right - I sped off in the opposite direction.

Just kidding. I hope you didn't believe me, not even for a second. How terrible would that be?!

We pulled over and she got out of her car and of course, I apologized. Even though the insurance companies say to never accept fault, I don't think there was any way to wriggle my way out of that one. We exchanged information but she said she didn't actually see any damage and didn't think she'd be filing a claim. I hoped that was true.

Then on Friday I got a call from a Mercy Insurance Claim Agent. She said her client didn't actually mean to file a claim but now that a claim number was open, she wanted to make sure I wasn't filing a claim myself.

I guess that should have been my first clue that something was a little off. If it was my fault (and I'm not even insured through Mercury), why in the world would I want to file a claim? What kind of claim would I even file? "I rear ended a lady; please give me all the blame and all the financial responsibility." Clearly not.

Then she began to ask me a bunch of questions. I was pretty annoyed, given that a claim hadn't even been made. Why do I have to say what happened? Why do I have so say where I was going? Seriously, with that question, I was pretty irritated. Why does it matter where I was going? But I suppose she is just doing her job, so I tried to be patient and answer the questions. (To my sister's house, in case you're wondering. But the wind was knocked out of my sails with the accident, so I never actually made it there.)

Next she asked me if there were any passengers. I told her no. Then she asked if there were any car seats in my car. I told her yes. Then she asked if anyone was in those car seats.

Didn't I just say I was alone? How could I be alone and there be people in the car seats? I wonder about this lady, I really do.

So of course, I reiterated that I was alone, so no, no one was in the car seats.

I was finally able to get out of the conversation and I truly hope that's the last time I have to talk to that Mercury agent.

But the real question is, did I learn my lesson? Have I sworn off texting and driving?

I'll never tell.